three thanks

1. Thanks to Jill, Bonnie, Lyn, and Josh for sharing your thoughts on bio/non-bio parenting, and to this whole community for creating the space for such dialogue. I try to imagine living this life without this community – learning to let go of long-held narratives, discovering the joys of an unexpected path, surviving the lows, appreciating the highs – and it seems impossible. Your willingness to explore together is a gift.

2. Thanks to my best friend, C, who put up with my bi-annual “I hate that everyone’s straight” tirade (again) yesterday. Though she’s straight, she’s never once said, “you’re an ass.” That’s friendship.

3. (Okay, I got weepy just thinking about typing this…) Thanks to J for helping me feel my son moving last night. J started feeling solid kicks/punches last week, and she’s been diligent ever since about putting my hand wherever she’s feeling him whenever we’re together. Everything I’ve read says it takes a month or so after a bio-mom starts feeling her baby before anyone else can, so I thought she was being overly optimistic. I mean, we’re not quite even twenty weeks! But she knew how sad I was about not being able to feel him, so she just kept trying. She wrote me yesterday from work, saying, “your son is like Sir Kicks-A-Lot today. I suspect that you’ll be able to feel him this week.” And then last night, at about 10:45, she started feeling lots of movement, so we just laid there together, very quiet and very still, my hand just below her belly button and slightly to the right. And then I felt him. One hard, quick, protrusion. A little foot or a little hand. I felt it several more times a bit later. Wonderment.

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