thirty-eight and counting

Dear, dear friends. We’ve been at this for thirty-eight straight hours now. J hits lulls sometimes, but even then the contractions come at least every ten minutes. This is a tough, tough labor. I don’t have it in me to go into specifics right now, but I wanted to reach out to thank you for all your positive energy, and to ask you to keep sending it.

We are blessed to be at a hospital that will labor with us for this long without pushing us towards interventions, without starting to question our choices. We have the best doula, the best midwives, the best labor team in the world. J is a unparalleled badass. The thirty-six hour mark found her hanging from a squat bar through three straight contractions. If she lets me when this is all done, I’ll post a photo that our doula took. It’s a kind of strength that leaves me in awe.

The (wonderful) midwife-on-call thinks that sleep is what J most needs now (we really haven’t slept), so we’re alone in our labor room, curled together on the tiny labor bed so that I can apply counterpressure each time she wakes up, terrified, at the peak of another contraction.

It would be good if this baby came tonight. We are really, really tired. Thank you for any love you send out into the universe in an effort to encourage this possibility.

 

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25 thoughts on “thirty-eight and counting

  1. Dearest R and J. I have been checking here frantically and thinking about you all constantly. I will be thinking and praying for you without ceasing now: strength for J, as her body works to bring your son into the world, strength for you, as your work is difficult in a more spiritual and less bodily form, and strength for your son as he is working his way into the world.

  2. How amazing, to be in a situation where you arn’t being pressured to take anything to speed things along unnaturally. I can’t believe things have gone on this long and I’m hoping like crazy that you are in transition right now and it’s going to lead straight to second stage and some pushing and down the “rabbit hole” that little rabbit will come. :)

  3. Oh! I feel your exhaustion, your awe, your pain right now. Be gentle with yourself right now. Is J progressing? We are thinking of the three of you… Xoxo

  4. I too have been checking in and wondering if this was your path. Ours was similar, so know that even though it is very long, and very very hard, you will make it and you are doing great. Please feel only love and energy and lots of patience coming from your cheering section out here.

  5. It seems that from all parts of the country love and support are streaming to you both. Last night I dreamed that your little one arrived at 3:33…..not sure why or what the meaning behind that is but thought I would share it. I am grateful to be part of a community I have never met-all reaching and holding the three of you through each moment. I look out and see the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Great Feminine which holds all in every moment….the energy it took to form this majesty is the same energy you can count on now. All blessings, Joanne Ford

  6. This makes me think of “Landing Gear” : “Hey little lump of sugar floating in your biosphere, summon the courage to put down your landing gear, come out here…. For someone who ain’t even here yet, look how much the world loves you”. This boy is taking his sweet time, but this blog community, and your other communities are certainly proof that this world already loves him (and both of you) so much!

  7. I know it’s awfully cozy in there, little Rabbit. But this world out here is pretty amazing too. Come on and check it out.
    Your moms are doing incredible, inspiring work, but give them a break, already!

  8. Hang in there, friends. And Rabbit, give your mommas a break and get out here already. The world is waiting to herald your arrival! Sending strength, love, and health vibes your way….

  9. I have been thinking about you all day as well, and am hoping that your little rabbits path into this world is a smooth one from here on out. You are both amazing and so strong!

  10. Continued thoughts of peace and strength to you all…to Rabbit and you mamas and the rest of your support team. You are so, so close. What tremendous energy we’re all sending out your way.

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