Life is moving along pretty sweetly.
We just passed our anniversary of making Bram (May 2nd), so this little being has been with us for over a year now.
I submitted grades last week, so I’m teaching-free for the next year, which is just: wow. My first writing deadline is June 1st, though, so there’s no time to revel in this blessed freedom. I’m working on my sex chapter now, which is a particularly intimidating one. Wish me luck.
And in even more exciting news, J ran a 5k yesterday! She’d never run a mile in her life before she carried and gave birth to this Rabbit, so this fact is especially amazing. SHE is especially amazing. She liked it so much that she’s already planning a 10k, and she’s moved her runs to 5am so as to make sure there’s time for them. My exercise-resistant, sleep-loving, already-sleep-deprived wife is preparing for a 10k, and she’s willing to get even less sleep to do it. I did not see this coming, but man am I impressed. Also, this just in: running-J is sexy.
And in even MORE exciting news, our boy rolled from back to front! And then he did it again! And then he did it again! And THEN (the next day) he laughed for about a minute straight! I’m not even sure what was so funny, but it was like he discovered he could do it, and it felt too good to stop. It was a total life-high for both J and me. I’m absolutely certain there’s no sweeter sound.
Let’s see, what else. I walked the 5k wearing B in my new woven wrap (a Storchenwiege Leo Black and White). J and B got it for me for Mother’s Day, and I love, love, love it, love the support it offers. I adored our stretch wraps until these last couple of pounds, but a fifteen-pound baby calls for woven cotton. There’s not much in the material world that makes me wish I were rich, but woven wraps seem to be a weakness. I’m sure it serves as a replacement in my mind (heart?) for breastfeeding (which I still long to do), but regardless: this boy loves to be worn, and I love to accommodate him.
Oh, and our (probable) new sitter is coming for a visit this morning. I think we’ll just sit down over tea and talk through her expectations and ours to be sure it’s a good fit. She’ll be with B on Monday and Wednesday mornings from 7:45 to 12:15, and J and I are both having a hard time with this. He’s only ever been away from us (both) for two hours one time. And though I went back to work pretty quickly after he was born, I never really went back to work. I did nearly all of my reading, prep, and grading while wearing B, or while he was with J, or while he slept at night. My visits to the coffee shop (and even my one visit to the library) have all been with-baby. So though my work just got more flexible, it’s actually going to be a lot more demanding. I can do some reading with Bram asleep on my chest, but I really can’t write that way. Writing takes a lot of focus for me. And I’m beginning to understand what Erica told me in a comment a few months back: that I need to go away to write so that I can be truly here when I’m here. I can’t do both things well at the same time, and what I’m finding is that I’ll sacrifice my work every time if it means getting to be a present mama.
So here’s the plan: I’ll ride in with J on Monday and Wednesday mornings, and I’ll work in the reading room of her college’s library (which is stunning) all morning: 4 hours each day. On Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, I’ll head to the coffee shop after dinner, giving J and B alone.together time and me 2-3 hours each night to write. I’ll do the same thing Sunday mornings from 8-10:30. And I’ll commit to reading (for work and not just blogs) for at least one hour of B’s (on.my.chest) afternoon nap each day (5 hours a week in total). This adds up to about 20 hours a week, which may not be enough, but my hope is that 20 hours of intense focus will go as far as 40 hours of pre-baby, dawdle-filled work. If what I can get done around the house in 20 baby-free minutes is any indication, I’ll make these 20 hours count. Still, I’m pretty unsettled about leaving Bram with S – though I think she’ll be amazing with him – for nine whole hours every week. Anyone have any advice for letting go of fears and trusting someone else with your little one?
Oh, and a couple of photos:
My true, true, true loves. Who knew the heart could feel this huge?
Mama, Bram, Springtime, and the Storch.
Our sweet B-Rabbit. Attentive. Curious. Beautiful.
Hope May has been sweet to all of you so far!
N.B. I just realized that I published this under J’s log-on. R fail. You all know, though, that her posts all have periods to either side of the title and mine don’t, right? Also, she’s not arrogant enough to describe her running self as “sexy.” :)