rolling, laughing, running along

Life is moving along pretty sweetly.

We just passed our anniversary of making Bram (May 2nd), so this little being has been with us for over a year now.

I submitted grades last week, so I’m teaching-free for the next year, which is just: wow. My first writing deadline is June 1st, though, so there’s no time to revel in this blessed freedom. I’m working on my sex chapter now, which is a particularly intimidating one. Wish me luck.

And in even more exciting news, J ran a 5k yesterday! She’d never run a mile in her life before she carried and gave birth to this Rabbit, so this fact is especially amazing. SHE is especially amazing. She liked it so much that she’s already planning a 10k, and she’s moved her runs to 5am so as to make sure there’s time for them. My exercise-resistant, sleep-loving, already-sleep-deprived wife is preparing for a 10k, and she’s willing to get even less sleep to do it. I did not see this coming, but man am I impressed. Also, this just in: running-J is sexy.

And in even MORE exciting news, our boy rolled from back to front! And then he did it again! And then he did it again! And THEN (the next day) he laughed for about a minute straight! I’m not even sure what was so funny, but it was like he discovered he could do it, and it felt too good to stop. It was a total life-high for both J and me. I’m absolutely certain there’s no sweeter sound.

Let’s see, what else. I walked the 5k wearing B in my new woven wrap (a Storchenwiege Leo Black and White). J and B got it for me for Mother’s Day, and I love, love, love it, love the support it offers. I adored our stretch wraps until these last couple of pounds, but a fifteen-pound baby calls for woven cotton. There’s not much in the material world that makes me wish I were rich, but woven wraps seem to be a weakness. I’m sure it serves as a replacement in my mind (heart?) for breastfeeding (which I still long to do), but regardless: this boy loves to be worn, and I love to accommodate him.

Oh, and our (probable) new sitter is coming for a visit this morning. I think we’ll just sit down over tea and talk through her expectations and ours to be sure it’s a good fit. She’ll be with B on Monday and Wednesday mornings from 7:45 to 12:15, and J and I are both having a hard time with this. He’s only ever been away from us (both) for two hours one time. And though I went back to work pretty quickly after he was born, I never really went back to work. I did nearly all of my reading, prep, and grading while wearing B, or while he was with J, or while he slept at night. My visits to the coffee shop (and even my one visit to the library) have all been with-baby. So though my work just got more flexible, it’s actually going to be a lot more demanding. I can do some reading with Bram asleep on my chest, but I really can’t write that way. Writing takes a lot of focus for me. And I’m beginning to understand what Erica told me in a comment a few months back: that I need to go away to write so that I can be truly here when I’m here. I can’t do both things well at the same time, and what I’m finding is that I’ll sacrifice my work every time if it means getting to be a present mama.

So here’s the plan: I’ll ride in with J on Monday and Wednesday mornings, and I’ll work in the reading room of her college’s library (which is stunning) all morning: 4 hours each day. On Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, I’ll head to the coffee shop after dinner, giving J and B alone.together time and me 2-3 hours each night to write. I’ll do the same thing Sunday mornings from 8-10:30. And I’ll commit to reading (for work and not just blogs) for at least one hour of B’s (on.my.chest) afternoon nap each day (5 hours a week in total). This adds up to about 20 hours a week, which may not be enough, but my hope is that 20 hours of intense focus will go as far as 40 hours of pre-baby, dawdle-filled work. If what I can get done around the house in 20 baby-free minutes is any indication, I’ll make these 20 hours count. Still, I’m pretty unsettled about leaving Bram with S – though I think she’ll be amazing with him – for nine whole hours every week. Anyone have any advice for letting go of fears and trusting someone else with your little one?

Oh, and a couple of photos:

My true, true, true loves. Who knew the heart could feel this huge?

Mama, Bram, Springtime, and the Storch.

Our sweet B-Rabbit. Attentive. Curious. Beautiful.

Hope May has been sweet to all of you so far!

N.B. I just realized that I published this under J’s log-on. R fail. You all know, though, that her posts all have periods to either side of the title and mine don’t, right? Also, she’s not arrogant enough to describe her running self as “sexy.” :)

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “rolling, laughing, running along

  1. Or, R. The voice was immediately clear :) While I can’t speak to Bram’s upcoming time with the sitter (though it sounds like you’re handling it all brilliantly, difficult as it may be at first), I am interested in the ways you’re carving out work time. Summers past, and last spring when I was on the fellowship, finding a plan for self-structuring wide open work time has been *really* important to me. I like your approach of utilizing different venues. While I don’t have a sweetly distracting baby at home, there are certainly a host of other distractions here… you’ve got me thinking about reinstating some weekly coffee shop time as I transition from teaching to summer writing mode :)

  2. I’m super impressed about the 5K–especially the early morning part of it. Babywearing seems to be an addiction–I have friends who are SO EXCITED to win a chance to buy some fancy wrap or other. I fear this, as I’m already a sucker for textiles. I hope the babysitter works out well. Would it help to think of it as an opportunity for B to expand his world in a safe way, rather than a way for you to get away from him to do work? He needs to be with other people and learn about the world on his own, too–and slowly, with a trusted adult, for short periods of time and with lots of parental love before and after seems like a loving way to allow him that exploration.

  3. The most successful people I knew in grad school were those with babies at home since it forced them to actually work when they could, as compared to the rest of us that ‘worked’ for eight hours a day by reading emails, facebooking, fantasy football, fashion blogs, going on walks, grabbing lunch (i’m trying to think of the main activities i saw people doing in our shared computer lab) and then hopefully reading an article or two in the last hour before they went home. I have no doubt that you will make that time work for you.

  4. Glad to hear that all is moving along so beautifully. Good luck with the sitter. I hope that it works out well. I have no doubts that the three of you would attract someone wonderful to the position.

  5. time away from baby is a tough transition….but possible. it’s nice that you get to transition in a gentle way – to “only” 9 hours a week. we were fortunate that bob was “underemployed” when g was born. so he went to the sitter 12p-5p monday-thursday. it all works out. i’m sure there was a time in your life when you couldn’t imagine fitting a baby into your life. and now you are having to face things a different way. what a blessing! :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s