photo challenge, 3

Clouds.

Taken at the end of our little block, on a much needed family walk last night. (Which felt like a Friday night though it was Wednesday, so long and trying has this week been).

* Having been privileged to watch her change and grow into herself as a person and a parent, I loved J’s post yesterday. I won’t say it’s always been easy to be married to each other through so much growth, but it is rewarding in immeasurable ways. I hope we get to be old people together, looking back on the pain and joy with equal respect and appreciation.

* I’ve thought several times about writing a post explaining why I love wearing my son – why, especially as a non-gestational parent, babywearing is so critical to me – but I’ve never known just what to say. It’s always felt a little ineffable. With the exception of his first two or three days, I’ve worn Bram every day of his life, and for many, many hours. Though we’re transitioning to back carries more and more, as often as not I still wrap him tightly to my chest, and I love the feeling of his breath against my chest, his heart beating against my heart beating. Though I ache by the end of each day (my son is not small, and I am not big), I plan on doing this until he self-weans off of wraps, which I hope he won’t do for a long, long time. It’s such a small period of time, the years when our children are small enough to be secured to our bodies. A blink, I’m guessing, and I don’t want to miss a moment of it. It makes him visibly happy, and it seems to make him feel safe, sure of me, sure he is loved. When he’s tired, it’s the quickest way to soothe him: sometimes he’s sleeping even before I finish tying the wrap. Other times, he’ll pull back so that he’s staring straight into my eyes, his face only inches from mine. Sometimes, he’ll even lean forward and put his lips on mine before settling back in with his head to my chest. When I badly sprained my ankle on our vacation last month, wearing Bram was my first thought: I can’t have broken it because I can’t not wear him. But I’ve never had quite the language to say why it matters so much to me. Beautifully, Cricket’s mama has written a stunning post about just that: why babywearing, for non-gestational parents, can be so powerful. Here are her words, which describe my heart.

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5 thoughts on “photo challenge, 3

  1. I love your description of baby wearing. I still love to hold Goldie this way even though it’s no longer a daily event for me (it used to be a minimum of 3 hours per day and sometimes…6 hours?). I haven’t figured out how to get her on my back without Fern, so I usually front carry even though she’s getting a little heavy for it. I love to have her close to me.

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