right exactly now

To ease back into blogging after this sad time of mourning, I thought I’d try an exercise I saw on one of my favorite blogs: Two Moms To Be. If you do this on your blog, please post a comment so I can come read it.

More soon on the three of us. I have longed for this space.

Right now I am…

::listening to J’s soothing shusshing coming through the monitor as she nurses our sweet boy back to sleep.
::sipping red wine that is (full disclosure) not great, but in keeping with my somehow.still.a.grad.student budget.
::catching up on stillness after a long week of mamahood and writing.  
::hoping for faith. For illumination. Or if not that, then at least for optimism.
::enjoying a feeling of accomplishment. Though I have eight weeks of intense work ahead of me, I just completed a full revision of my dissertation.
::smiling about the good good friendships in my life. The good good friendships I have.
::trying to stay in the moment. Trying not to move five steps ahead of my own body.
::weighing possibilities. And risks. And fears. And great great things. More on this soon.
::marvelling at all I have: a love I could not have imagined, a contagiously happy child, fulfilling work, a wonderful family, unbeatable friends, the sweetest cats, my health, and this little cottage…
::sending peace that passes all understanding to those families out there who have lost babies, or who have struggled to make babies, or whose journeys have been profoundly different than they dreamed they would be.

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10 thoughts on “right exactly now

  1. I just want you to know that I get excited every single time you write a new post. Your writing is simply beautiful and incredibly engaging. Thank you for all of that.

  2. I have just started reading your posts lately, and just this week found out that having biological children will be pretty close to impossible for me. My life is definitely not the way that I pictured it, but it has it’s own little moments of beauty. But this has been a blow, and I’m really in need of a little bit of the peace you’ve described. Thank you so much for your posts.

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