Seriously. It is. We specialize in cuddles. But since we’re open 24/7, we need more workers.
Truth: I am all in for the children. More children. I am already well and fully over the strange panic that Lou’s birth inspired in me. I mean, I tried to get J to consider adopting an older girl through foster care yesterday. (Spoiler alert: she wouldn’t even talk to me for a few hours after I threw that out there.)
But while falling in love with this new creature has brought me full-tilt back to six kids, maybe, baby??? territory, it has made me consider with longing the substantial advantages of polygamy. Think about it. More mouths for kissing ouchies. More hands for making beds and food, and for cleaning up spills, and for wrapping babies. Someone else to hold the space with you when you are convinced, for 100% sure, that this isn’t possible. I mean, we’re not interviewing for a third or anything, but people: think about it. It’s tempting, right? Cuddle factories need bigger staffs.
But inadequately staffed or not, we have two boys. It’s starting to feel real. I know because: one of them is pretty much always awake. And neither of them want to sleep without touching us. And they have some strong opinions. And they both smell so damn good. And today, with the sun shining in through the windows, I sat scrunched between their car-seats eating ice cream while they both slept.
This level of calm brought to you, by the way, by a 30-hour visit from Bubbie. Lest you think we’re lunatics who don’t sometimes want to run away from the crazyville that is life with one toddler and one newborn. We do. We often wonder – a la Call the Midwife – “why did I ever start this.” … But then those moments end and one of us showers. Or we glance at each other. Or we huff one of our yummy smelling children. And we remember. At least until the next time someone plays wake up, moms! exactly seventeen minutes after we finally fell asleep. Or the next time Bram remembers that he’s two and therefore an Id-Muffin. Or the next time I let myself imagine how I’ll even make it to noon on Monday when J goes back to work in a few weeks. So yeah. Know that. The swings could best anything even a top-notch amusement park has to offer. Which reminds me: polygamy, folks. Take out the sexist bits and it’s not the worst idea in the world.