Seriously. It is. We specialize in cuddles. But since we’re open 24/7, we need more workers.
Truth: I am all in for the children. More children. I am already well and fully over the strange panic that Lou’s birth inspired in me. I mean, I tried to get J to consider adopting an older girl through foster care yesterday. (Spoiler alert: she wouldn’t even talk to me for a few hours after I threw that out there.)
But while falling in love with this new creature has brought me full-tilt back to six kids, maybe, baby??? territory, it has made me consider with longing the substantial advantages of polygamy. Think about it. More mouths for kissing ouchies. More hands for making beds and food, and for cleaning up spills, and for wrapping babies. Someone else to hold the space with you when you are convinced, for 100% sure, that this isn’t possible. I mean, we’re not interviewing for a third or anything, but people: think about it. It’s tempting, right? Cuddle factories need bigger staffs.
But inadequately staffed or not, we have two boys. It’s starting to feel real. I know because: one of them is pretty much always awake. And neither of them want to sleep without touching us. And they have some strong opinions. And they both smell so damn good. And today, with the sun shining in through the windows, I sat scrunched between their car-seats eating ice cream while they both slept.
This level of calm brought to you, by the way, by a 30-hour visit from Bubbie. Lest you think we’re lunatics who don’t sometimes want to run away from the crazyville that is life with one toddler and one newborn. We do. We often wonder – a la Call the Midwife – “why did I ever start this.” … But then those moments end and one of us showers. Or we glance at each other. Or we huff one of our yummy smelling children. And we remember. At least until the next time someone plays wake up, moms! exactly seventeen minutes after we finally fell asleep. Or the next time Bram remembers that he’s two and therefore an Id-Muffin. Or the next time I let myself imagine how I’ll even make it to noon on Monday when J goes back to work in a few weeks. So yeah. Know that. The swings could best anything even a top-notch amusement park has to offer. Which reminds me: polygamy, folks. Take out the sexist bits and it’s not the worst idea in the world.
breaking into blossom 
I am SO with you on this! I’ve tried to sell my wife on the idea, but she’s not buying. ;)
We have definitely considered getting another couple to live in our attic and do a number of things around the house, with a side of open relationshipness. The finer details of this arrangement probably shouldn’t be committed to writing, but suffice it to say you aren’t the first to have considered it, at least in passing! Also, isn’t it terrible/wonderful that they always want to sleep on your face?
One of my dear friends from high school is poly. She and her wife live with two men – I don’t know if she considers them “husband” or not as she’s never said that to me – her son C and daughter K have Mama, Mommy, Dad-I and Dad- M. I don’t think I could balance all of those relationships, but I often envy the possibility of occasionally sleeping in that would come with so many parents in one house! Also, her kiddos are SUPER cute, and clearly well loved. :)
I’ve often thought I need a wife!
Thank God for all that cuteness to make the roller coaster bearable!
P.s. If we lived in the same town, I would gladly contribute to the cuddle fest!
Id-Muffin! I’ve never heard that one. Classic. Oh — and, I know you’re not interviewing, but I’ll be your third if you can find a way to move to CT!
I’ve often said to Jen that we could use a sister-wife. She says she thinks we could use a housekeeper.
Also it is 11:51pm and I am only just about to get into the shower because I cannot remember when my last one was, and that’s never a good thing.
Perhaps what is really needed is some good old commune living. Let’s start one!