J has a job offer on the table.
And we are stumped.
But you people who read and write nice things to us know us in real and intimate ways, so I am laying it out here for you. Because you are wise and insightful, and because neither of us feels like either of those things right now.
So here goes.
If we made a “pros list,” this is what would go on it:
- It’s an offer. On the table. Right now. Who knows when another one will come along.
- They really want her. She would be a rock star. She even has experience in the field.
- It would be exciting because it’s a new venture here in our little town, and J would be a part of getting it off the ground.
- It has upward-mobility potential.
- The pay is what we need it to be.
- The company shares many of our values (or at least seems to share them based on what they do).
- The benefits are great.
If we made a “cons list” here’s what would go on it:
- It would require a couple of months of on-the-road training, which would be exactly as insane as you would imagine that to be with a nursing infant and a toddler. This would mean months spent in a hotel, in strange cities where we know no one, with me commuting back for the first few weeks to teach my once-a-week class (which itself would require finding childcare in at least two different towns which are each at least five hours from here). I would be alone with the kids full-time while J trained, and we would live in a hotel.
- The upward mobility would require a willingness to leave the town we worked so hard to decide to stay in. It would likely require at least two moves with very little say over where we would have to go. And depending on the cost of living wherever they sent us, the raises may not even be that significant (because where we live has the lowest cost of living possible for anywhere we would actually be willing to live).
- We would have to delay B’s start of preschool, which I would actually be happy to do, but we’ve really been preparing him, and we’re already contracted so they may still require us to pay for those months.
- J’s instinct is that it won’t build her up. That though she would be amazing at it, it would make her feel not so great about herself.
- If she did work up in the company, she would likely have to travel a lot, which she doesn’t want.
But it’s on the table. And if she turns it down, there’s nothing on the table. And we’re really treading water, so that feels scary and irresponsible. J keeps getting this old saying stuck in her head: don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens. But maybe there’s no miracle. Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to know by now in our lives. Maybe we are terrible decision makers.
Wisdom to offer? I’ll pay for it with cute-kid photos.