but joy though

In spite of (and in some ways because of) all of the hard stuff I’ve written about in the past eight or nine months, the boys and I have been living pretty deeply into the joy of these ordinary days.

I have wanted, in this sacred space, to be honest about the story of this year, but I also want the story of our joy to be clear. Both/and. Loss and love. Heaviness and light.

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8 thoughts on “but joy though

  1. I see you and I get you and I’m with you in all of this. It’s utterly joyful, its deprivation and constant self-discipline, it’s finding meaning — all at the same time. Thank you for the book recommendation. I think I will find it helpful too! Much love from me and Punch.

    • Oh, Laura. The thousand times I’ve wondered, since this all began, how you’ve done it this way almost the whole time. I can’t even talk about how I feel about solo parents now without getting choked up. I’ll find some words some day, but for now know that you’ve been a steady place for me to lean without even knowing it.

  2. Your posts made me cry today. I imagined walking through all the loneliness you’ve felt. To be clear, I don’t feel “sorry for you” but I feel sorrow for you. We don’t know each other, not really, but I’m rooting for you. I see you and I pray for you. Many blessings, I hope something magical happens for you today.

    • Thank you, sister. The boys and I continued our vigil for our dying girl cat, which is deeply painful, but magical in its way too, right? The privilege of being near enough to one another for such intimacies as death.

    • Only in certain light. (Mostly on the question, but a little on the Bram being grown up part. Or at least I pretend that’s so.)

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